test

The young boy was approaching his 10th birthday, and still had not
started talking. His parents had taken him to doctors and other
professionals, but no one could find any reason why the lad would not
speak.

Then one day at dinner, out of nowhere, he says, "The gravy's cold."

Everyone stops what they're doing. His parents are shocked. They're
nearly speechless themselves now. Finally, his mother proclaims, "You
can talk!"

The kid just grunts in the affirmative, and continues eating.

So his mother says, "Why haven't you said anything before this?"

The kid replies, "Up until now, everything was fine."

Jerry Cargile

2005-03-09 18:52:29 UTC

Permalink

LOL!!

Post by Warren

Post by Jerry Cargile
Yes it is, but it seems as though most are still looking in. I wonder
why it is so quiet.

The young boy was approaching his 10th birthday, and still had not
started talking. His parents had taken him to doctors and other
professionals, but no one could find any reason why the lad would not
speak.
Then one day at dinner, out of nowhere, he says, "The gravy's cold."
Everyone stops what they're doing. His parents are shocked. They're
nearly speechless themselves now. Finally, his mother proclaims, "You
can talk!"
The kid just grunts in the affirmative, and continues eating.
So his mother says, "Why haven't you said anything before this?"
The kid replies, "Up until now, everything was fine."

mady

2005-03-09 21:10:22 UTC

Permalink

TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2004 ACCORDING TO READER'S DIGEST.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on is way without a
ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out
of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips
and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

AND NOW ,,,, FOR THE ,,,, #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand
and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the teacher
smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

mady

Jerry Cargile

2005-03-10 02:52:53 UTC

Permalink

ROTFLMAO at #1. Actually they all were good.

Here's a true Jerry smart ass answer:

It was the morning after Halloween and I was late to work. When I got
down to the office where I worked, a co-worker told me that Charlie (my
Santa Claus shaped boss) was looking for me and was really pissed
because I wasn't in the office when he checked in on us. I started
working away and here he came and stood right in front of me with his
hands on his hips and a cigar in his mouth. I looked up at him and
said, "Morning Charlie". He took the cigar out of his mouth and
grumbled, "Well....?", I knew in a situation like this you had to be
slick and come up with something that would be totally off the wall, so
I said, "The damn Trick or Treaters flattened my tires last night." He
looked puzzled and asked what in the world would make them want to do
that. I told him that I couldn't understand why they did it either,
because I gave them all a spoonful of Pork & Beans. He gave me a funny
look that seemed to say that I was a cheap screwy bastard and turned
around and walked off. ;-))

Jerry
..

Jerry

Post by mady
TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2004 ACCORDING TO READER'S DIGEST.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're dead."
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on is way without a
ticket.
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out
of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips
and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand
and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the teacher
smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
mady

Omar©

2005-03-10 21:32:18 UTC

Permalink

Post by Jerry Cargile
ROTFLMAO at #1. Actually they all were good.
It was the morning after Halloween and I was late to work. When I got
down to the office where I worked, a co-worker told me that Charlie (my
Santa Claus shaped boss) was looking for me and was really pissed
because I wasn't in the office when he checked in on us. I started
working away and here he came and stood right in front of me with his
hands on his hips and a cigar in his mouth. I looked up at him and
said, "Morning Charlie". He took the cigar out of his mouth and
grumbled, "Well....?", I knew in a situation like this you had to be
slick and come up with something that would be totally off the wall, so
I said, "The damn Trick or Treaters flattened my tires last night." He
looked puzzled and asked what in the world would make them want to do
that. I told him that I couldn't understand why they did it either,
because I gave them all a spoonful of Pork & Beans. He gave me a funny
look that seemed to say that I was a cheap screwy bastard and turned
around and walked off. ;-))
Jerry
..
Jerry

Well that sounds like you Jerr :-))
Omar (that's me if you still remember)